The Voice of a Young Mother in Todays World

I love seeing fake girls, who still act like they’re still in school, moan about “average” and “boring” girls. Ironically, these kind of girls are the most average of us all. All they do is play to the stereotype of 21st century early 20’s person of not furthering their education beyond the age of 16, live with their parents for god knows how long, end up in a dead end job if they’re lucky, wear loads of make up and fake tan so they look anything but natural and live for the weekend. To me, that is a definition of being average and boring.

Dear Peterborough City Council, This was meant to be the one day in the year that I could see my mums name in the Book of Remembrance, but imagine my shock when I find out it’s closed because it’s a weekend, but don’t worry because I can view it through a window! So you’ve hired someone to turn a page and kept the service closed? How much does it cost to hire someone to keep an eye on the grounds on the weekend? Or is that just a step too far for council tax? You make me sick! This isn’t over!

As most people know, I am indeed up chug, which is excellent! But it brings unwanted hormone changes that make me flip at the slightest things! So I am compiling a list of what is annoying me the most at the moment. Enjoy!

1. The weird dreams I’m having. The first thing I said to Jazz on Saturday was “Please don’t run off with a man to Belfast.” I DIDN’T EVEN EAT CHEESE BEFORE BED!
2. Everytime I bend over, I need to pee.
3. The short guy in The Cleveland Show
4. Cravings for Cigarettes.
5. Cravings to sniff salad cream.
6. Cravings for Quinoa.
7. The best character in Glee (Sue) is in Glee!
8. Pregnancy sweats
9. People on Facebook who put all of their love life troubles every 5 minutes even though it’s pushing all their friends away.
10. Attention Seeking Twats (See Note 9).
11. People who think 9/11 jokes are funny.
12. Burping in public and not realising for 10 minutes.
13. People getting annoyed with me for being pregnant and shouting about it! I’m happy! Get over it, Haters!
14. Getting angry with oneself for spelling Haters as Hatters…
15. Dog Farts
16. Select communities in Huntingdon.
17. Hypocrites (See Note 16)
18. Wankers (See Note 16)
19. People who think they’re better than everybody else, even though they’re scummier than the average. (See Note 16)
20. People from Welland Estate.
21. My boobs feel like bags of wet sand.
22. I have the patience of a saint…….in a Brothel.
23. Blisters
24. Primark Shoes that tempt you by their prices and then break in 3 weeks.
25. X Factor free loaders.
26. People who prefer Apple Macs to PCs and swear by them. IT’S A FOOKING COMPUTER! WHO CARES!
27. First Capital Connect.
28. The other half wearing my socks. MY SOCKS!
29. Hurricane Katia
30. Repeating Myself
31. Repeating Myself
32. Repeating Myself
33. Repeating Myself
34. Repeating Myself
35. Needing a nap everyday at the moment, and not being able to have one.
36. How my hair gets greasy after one day!
37. Beer farts
38. The size of spiders this year.
39. Blackberry Failures.
40. Backache
41. Rudeboy Islamic Extremists. You are not cool or funny. Do us all a favour and jump in front of a train WITHOUT killing anyone other than yourselves.
42. Living in Huntingdon.
43. Not being able to live in Scotland.
44. Cleaning the Oven.
45. Cleaning the Fridge.
46. Sugar in the sugar pot…..which I can’t open.
47. Inflation (Money and Waist Wise)
48. Marajuana Smokers who have kids.
49. Junkies
50. I can smell McDonalds from my house. It’s 2 miles away…..
51. People who put bikes by train doors so you can’t get out and/or you have to let them out first because they have a bike! WTF!
52. Beaver Falls
53. Scrubs being Cancelled.
54. Niquiten Minis destroying your throat for than a fag would.
55. The Ostler.
56. Cancer.
57. Potatoes.
58. The sun burns? How did you not know this?!
59. British Weather.
60. Gossip Magazines. Follow your own life, not someone elses.
61. The first pee after child birth.
62. Cheryl Cole.
63. Not being able to get the smell of dog out of my house.
64. Rich Hall.
65. Torchwood trying to break America is shit.
66. Peppa Pig
67. PS3
68. Having 2 DS’s, but not even using one.
69. The dog snoring over the TV.
70. Transformers Franchise.
71. How the Internet rules the world.
72. Crumbs.
73. Waking up at 6AM.
74. People who name their children stupidly (Harper Seven anyone?)
75. People who believe “The Gays” spread AIDs! Get out of the 80s.

I could go on, but 75 is enough for now.

The title is from an earlier conversation with Jazz where there was a red colour catcher on the floor and I thought I was sleep walking/menstrating.

The title is irrelevent, but it is highly eye catching because we live in a society of pimps and weirdos. Just saying.

Anyway, i’ve come to the conclusion that we, as a working family, are more under privilaged than those who do not. The unemployed get free money, houses and health care in this country and people wonder why the figures are up. People wonder why we are, as a nation, in debt! What would happen to this country if it was americanised overnight? Americanised meaning “stand on your own two feet” society e.g no free health care, no free money and certainly no free accomedation! would Britain stand a chance or would the culture shock be too big for us so we’d be the immigrants to a “fairer” society. People may moan about the NHS and government, but we’re sitting pretty at the moment in this country.

I write this as i’m stuck, on a tilt, just outside Peterborough. Realising this happens far too often, this will be my rant of the day.
This train company has more problems than not. Like how a gust of wind can throw the whole service of for 30 minutes, or their lack of being able to for see any problems on the tracks. For example, I was stuck in St Neots (shit heap of Cambridgeshire) for nearly 2 hours a couple of weeks ago and they didn’t put on a replacement bus service for 1 hour. by the time the coach arrived and we got on it, we were told to get off it as a train was coming in 10 minutes. LIES! DECEIT AND LIES, FCC! 40 MINUTES I WAITED! SOME ONE GOT STABBED OUTSIDE THE TRAIN STATION THAT DAY!! WTF IS THAT ALL ABOUT?!
I digress slightly, but the point is still valid. The point being you are shit and even stagecoach could run a better service than you.

Well, In this post only one person is following me therefore, presumably, one person will see it (Hi Fraser). Hopefully, as my Tumblr profile grows, I can maybe double, no, TRIPLE my followers. Nothing like ambition to start this off.

My blog will start of about how I seem to attract loads of crazy weirdos in my everyday life. Train station weirdos are the best. I see this one fellow commuter all the time and always seems to be on the 07:47 Fist Capital Connect train to Peterborough, like me. Me, as a remotely normal person, reads a metro on the platform as I wait for the train. For those who don’t know what a metro is, it’s a free newspaper for commuters with semi intelligence and no money. Anyway, this guy just walks up and down the platform until the train comes EVERY MORNING! Sometimes I just want to stop him and say “Mate, calm down and read a the metro because you don’t look that intelligent”. I don’t know why he annoys me. He obviously has OCD. Things like that don’t normally aggravate me, but with him I just want to put an odd number of rice crispies in his shoe and watch him squirm.

Other than that, I’m a really nice person =]